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Lori Gottlieb First, about the lying: Sometimes people lie because the person requesting the truth makes the truth telling so aversive. I want the truth, the person asking says, but if you tell me the truth, I will shame or judge or abandon you. If you tell me the truth, I will deny your needs. If you tell me the truth, I will try to control you. They want the truth, then punish the person for telling it. Can you be less curious about his texts and become more curious about what you can do to create more connection with him?

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