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This how-to handbook will coach you on the subtle art of sending short and sweet texts, with slight innuendos, to have your crush cruising for more. In this excerpt, authors Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz write about why milton keynes escort back pages while in a relationship can make you fall in love all over again. If you are reading this chapter it means that you have successfully passed through the early stages of flirtexting and into a fabulous committed relationship. A congrats is in order! In a relationship, the fact that you both care deeply about each other is out in the open and felt equally by both parties.

Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.

Cliches and Expressions of origin

Q: Why is a vagina just like the weather? A: When it's wet, it's time to go inside Q: What do the Tect and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. Q: Why do women takk vaginas? A: So that men will speak to them! Q: What does a blonde and a tampon have in common? A: They are both winamac sex personals up cunts!

Q: What do homosexuals and mice have in common? A: They both hate pussy! Q: What did the penis say to the vagina? A: Don't make me cum in there. Q: What's the difference between balls and a pussy? A: the harder the pussy, the more balls you need. Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a public restroom? A: They both feel talj, but you wonder who has been there before you! Q: What do you call a policewoman who shaves her pubes? A: Cuntstubble.

Q: What etxt you call the space between the vagina and the arsehole? A: The chinrest! Q: Why do blondes wear tampons? A: Because crabs like bungee jumping too! Q: What do you call the useless flesh that surrounds a vagina? A: The washinton amarillo escorts What do you call the space between the twat and the shitter?

Twitter Q: What do you call a Spanish chick with no legs? A: cuntswaylow Q: What's the the definition of a vagina? A: The box a penis cums in. Q: What do you call the movie about Lara Croft's abortion? A: Womb Raider Q: What do you call a Roman soldier with a smile on his face and a piece of hair between his two front teeth?

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A: They both ate pussy Q: What's the definition of a tongue-twister? A: A spiral pussy! Q: What's the difference between eating pussy and driving in a snowstorm? A: When you eat pussy, you can always see the arsehole in front of you!

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Q: What do you get if you stuff your hand up a gypsy's cunt when she is on mrn period? A: Your palm Red! Q: What is the irritating part ts escort fuck a blonde's pussy? A: The other guys waiting their turn! Girl "I wear heels bigger than your dick! A: If your eating pussy and it tastes like shit!

Storytelling: Critical and Creative Approaches

Q: What's the difference between parsley and pussy? A: Nobody eats parsley. A: a great ruined by a period Q: How do you know when your husband eats too much pussy? A: When he goes to the dentist to get a haircut! Q: How do you get a pussy wet? A: Put it in the shower. Q: What's the smallest hotel known to man? A: A pussy. Because you leave your bags outside!

Q: What's the difference between a clit and a mobile phone? A: Nothing, every cunt's got one!

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Q: What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? A: A pussy is sweet, juicy, succulent, warm, fun and a useful thing.

Mon morn sex text lines dirty talk

The cunt is the thing that owns it! Q: What tastes good on pizza but not on pussy? A: Crust! Q: What do you call that patch of hair between an old ladys tits? A: Her snatch. Q: What is a vagina? A: The box a penis comes in. Q: What does a nun and a gremlin have in common? A: They're both not allowed to get wet! Q: What if the Pilgrims had killed cary models cary instead of turkeys?

A: We'd be eating pussy every Thanksgiving. A: Nobody eats parsley! Q: Why do women have two holes. A: So that when they are drunk, you can carry them like a six pack!

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Q: Why is a Brazilian wax called the cabin strip? A: Because it has a cockpit at one end of it Q: What is anatomy? A: the difference of knowing your pussy, and knowing you're a pussy. Q: Did you hear about the blind gynecologist?

A: He could read lips! Q: What do you call an Oscar winning film about a vagina? A: Lawrence Of A Labia. Q: What do vaginas and screen doors have incommon? A: The more they get slammed the looser they get. Q: Where are you from? A: A Vagina Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? A: Good morning etxt.

Q: What's the difference between a clitoris and a vagina? A: a clitoris needs to be licked fingered ta,k Palmed, but a vagina only needs to be pounded. Q: Why is being in a rock band like a palm job? A: The more you rock, the better you feel.

Mon morn sex text lines dirty talk

Q: Why was two piece swimsuit invented? A: To separate the hairy from the dairy. Q: Why are pussy pubic hairs curly?

Mon morn sex text lines dirty talk

A: You would poke your eye out if it were straight! Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a pussy? A: You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

Mon morn sex text lines dirty talk

Q: What do you get when you cross a roadrunner, a cat and a turkey? A: A 90 mile an hour pussy gobbler. Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long.

Mon morn sex text lines dirty talk

Never mind, you won't get it. A: She's the one holding an I love you. Q: What do you call a newspaper with blood on it? A: a periodic. One day this lady was selling this brand new microwave for a dollar.

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